42. What The Hell Is Self Care?

In the 2000s, “self-care” became a concept and movement almost bigger than itself. And what I mean by that is it started as an industry and marketing trend, which became so pervasive and ultimately abstract that everyone started using it. Whether it was in TV shows or simply an internet meme of anyone doing anything being related to “self-care”.

I admit that for a while, it was almost intimidating. How do I know what self-care is? It is putting on a face mask, but it isn’t? Am I doing it right or wrong? And to be honest, what’s the point?

From a spiritual and wellness perspective, “self-care” is absolutely important. But I think as a society, we get way too siloed into the physical construct of self-care. A woman sitting in a bath with candles, a book, and a glass of wine comes to mind. Sure, that’s certainly self-care. But I can tolerate that for a few minutes before I get incredibly bored. And I feel that a lot of people may feel the same way.

It’s not really a surprise to say that I’m different than most people. And alongside that philosophy, I don’t really enjoy the same activities as a lot of people. Oftentimes, I simply do them against my will because I know that they’re good for me. Whether it’s eating right, exercising, or “meditating”. I won’t go on my long rant about meditating and why it was ultimately counterintuitive for me for so long, but I think that we limit people’s options with self-care based on a one-size-fits-all philosophy. Based on the success of the ideas of a select or limited few. I won’t even get into the entire discussion regarding access to certain things, therefore limiting options and opportunities even more. Although I am not neurodivergent myself, I’m going to reckon that based on my perception values and experiences, it’s likely that people who resonate with being neurodivergent have a very different set of needs than other people related to meditating and self-care.

Anyway, I think it’s clear that each and every person has a different definition of self-care. And although mental, spiritual, and emotional needs are often addressed in self-care, it’s really more geared toward physical things, such as taking care of your physical self, buying new things, and/or more physical-based activities. 

Since I personally never resonated with many self-care options, I started to think of my own. And every person can do this on their own. None of us needs to abide by the pre-positioned self-care toolkit. So what was mine?

I strongly felt that the best way to take care of myself was by trusting myself and listening to my intuition in the moment. Things such as intuitive-based activities and intuitive eating. If I felt that I should be doing something different from what I was doing now, I did it. Instead of doing something which I had “planned”, I did something spontaneous. I paid attention to free-flowing energy. I aligned what I was doing to the energy of the earth, the universe, and those people, places, and things around me. Rather than being in a routine, I decided to be spontaneous. I find this to be one of the best ways to outsmart the matrix as a whole. Perhaps it’s just what I need. Perhaps it’s because I have Capricorn and Virgo placements largely. Whatever the reason, I think that “doing what I want” is my form of self-care.

So is doing what I want whenever I want a form of self-care? Maybe. It’s been a long journey of trusting myself. Of course, the obvious disclaimer is that you should be safe and take calculated risks. And in some circumstances, prioritizes what “needs” to happen. But if you have options, why not take them? There are so many things that can raise your vibration. Not just doing your typical self-care acts.

Feel free to think differently, be creative, and perhaps even more meta with your self-care. What makes you excited, brings you joy, and makes you happy? It doesn’t have to fit inside a tiny compartmentalized box. It doesn’t have to be what everyone else is doing. It can be something totally weird, wild, and unexpected. The important part is that it’s aligned to your intuition. Of course, you don’t want to do anything harmful, hateful, or destructive.

I think that seeing self-care in your own unique way is really important. Don’t force something if it doesn’t intuitively feel right. Looking forward to seeing what everyone comes up with :)